Confrontation

Matthew 18:15-17 (NASB)
 If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.  But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that BY THE MOUTH OF TWO OR THREE WITNESSES EVERY FACT MAY BE CONFIRMED.  If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 


There was a young man at church who had an issue that was very obvious to me, but not to other people.  I wasn't being judgmental.  As a youth-leader, someone had approached me with a complaint in regards to this young man's behavior.  Being a young woman myself, I had felt the same complaint in regards to this young man.  As a leader, I knew I had to do something.  But what?
I hate confrontation.  The Bible talks about the proper way of confronting someone in Matthew 18:15-17.  You don't go and gossip to everyone else first.  You go straight to that person.  You deal with them directly, one on one.  There's a chance that if you talk to them, they might have a chance to repent without being dragged through the dirt... gossip only hurts, doesn't heal.  Jesus knew this when he laid out the plan for confrontation.
I knew better than to gossip, but like I said, I hate confrontation.  I did not want to confront this young man.  So I went to God, and I prayed about what I ought to do.
Whenever confronting someone, you really ought to examine your heart.  If you do not have a right heart about it, you are actually wrong in confronting them.  I felt in this particular situation that my heart was right.  Only...
Only, I felt like a rebuke coming from me would not be well received.  I was no one in authority in this young man's life.  I thought about going to the youth pastor that I worked under for help, but it didn't seem Biblical in the order of confrontation.  Or was it?  I wasn't sure, so I prayed.  And waited.
An opportunity to confront this young man arose, but I really felt that God told me not to.
So I waited.  I really hoped I was being obedient.  It really felt like an issue that not only I noticed, but also God.
God totally intervened by laying it on another person's heart to confront this young man.  The man that did so had so much authority and did it in such a way that the young man received every ounce of it and made a total 180 change of heart and direction.  I have seen such a change in this young man's life from that point on, it is incredible!
Not every situation is the same, but there are a few things I learned: 

• When you see something, it is your responsibility to do something about it!  Chances are you noticed or were made aware of a situation because God is directing you to do something.  Obey.
• Pray about it-- chances are, God will take care of them, or you if you are the problem.
• If God directs you, follow the Matthew 18:15-17 procedure